It Ends Tonight
by Yukiko-hime
Summary: In which Matthew Williams is fed up with his invisibility and Alfred F. Jones is oblivious. USCan, T for mentions of self harm and suicide


_**Ugh, I'm probably just gonna keep posting oneshots until I get around to (read: force myself to) update one of my chapter fics -.-'**_

* * *

It Ends Tonight

_Your subtleties  
They strangle me  
I can't explain myself at all_

Matthew sighed as he watched his brother laugh with Francis and Feliciano as Arthur blushed angrily over the comment Alfred made, unknowingly overshadowing Matthew even more as he attempted to get Alfred's attention. He sighed and smiled sourly. Of course. Why would anyone remember him in the first place?

"I wish he would pay attention to _me_ for once. I mean, we _are_ dating, after all," Matthew said quietly and frowned as he watched his lover walk away with the group, forgetting Matthew once again. He sighed and left on his own, glad he had driven himself to this meeting.

"I don't need him. I don't need anyone," Matthew muttered as he started his car and started his drive home.

_And all the wants  
And all the needs  
All I don't want to need at all_

Matthew pulled into his driveway a few hours later, glad to be home. He stepped out and breathed in deeply.

"Finally, fresh air," he said with a smile. He walked inside and saw Kumajiro sitting next to his empty food bowl with an almost disappointed look.

"Food?" Kumajiro asked.

"Yes, Kumajiji," Matthew sighed as he gave the polar bear some leftover pancakes from this morning.

"Who are you?" Kumajiro asked.

"Does it really even matter anymore?" Matthew said impatiently. He frowned and went into the living room to watch the news. He pulled out his phone as he sat on the couch.

_Maybe I should call him,_ he thought. He dialed the very familiar number and listened to it ring. When he was sent to voicemail, he hung up angrily.

"Of course, too busy for me _again_. What else did I expect?" Matthew said. He laughed bitterly.

"You know what, fuck him. I'll just get high and pretend this never happened like I usually do! Then we'll go through it again next week!" Matthew said with faux-cheer.

_The walls start breathing  
My mind's unweaving  
Maybe it's best you leave me alone_

"You know what, no. I'm not going to do that this time. I'm doing something else this time so he can see what he does!" Matthew said angrily. He walked to his bedroom and pulled a razor out of the bottom of his sock drawer. He went into the bathroom and pressed the blade to his skin (wouldn't want to get blood on the carpet again, right?), feeling the all-too familiar feel of blood flowing out of his body in rivulets.

_A weight is lifted  
On this evening  
I give the final blow_

"That'll show him. He'll freak when he finds out I'm doing this again. That'll get him to notice," Matthew muttered as he stopped the blood flow and mopped up the blood on the floor. He had no intention of killing himself. Yet.

_When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight_

_**XxXxXxXxX**_

_A falling star  
'Least I fall alone  
I can't explain what you can't explain_

Matthew inwardly smiled when Alfred found the fresh scars.

"Mattie! When did you start doing this again?" Alfred asked with concern as he stared at the scars.

"I-it's nothing Al, I promise I'll stop," Matthew said softly.

"No, what's wrong?" Alfred demanded. Matthew sighed.

"I feel like you're not paying enough attention to me," Matthew almost whispered. Alfred frowned.

"Mattie, I'm so sorry! This is my fault again!" Alfred apologized, looking like he wanted to cry but his pride wouldn't allow it. "I'm not such a great hero, am I?"

"Al, you're always a great hero. You're _my _hero," Matthew said. Alfred smiled weakly.

"Promise you won't do _this _again and scare the hell out of me?" Alfred said, lifting up Matthew's arm to show the scars. Matthew nodded. Alfred sighed in relief and hid his face in Matthew's shirt.

"Thank you," he breathed, not loud enough for Matthew to hear. Matthew looked down at him disapprovingly, unbeknownst to Alfred.

_You should have known why as soon as you saw them, _he thought.

_You're finding things that you didn't know  
I look at you with such disdain _

_**XxXxXxXxX**_

_The walls start breathing  
My mind's unweaving  
Maybe it's best you leave me alone_

Matthew sighed as Alfred ran out the door. He had forgotten he had a meeting wigh his boss and promised they'd go on a date on the weekend, but Matthew knew better. He knew Alfred already had plans to hang out with Kiku, but he didn't tell Alfred that. He wanted to see if he'd figure it out on his own for once. He managed to catch a quick flight home and was surprised to find Ivan waiting at his door.

"Ivan?" Matthew said. Ivan turned around.

"Ah, Matvey! I had been wondering where you were, my comrade," Ivan said with an innocent-looking smile.

"What's up, Ivan?" Matthew asked.

"I was just curious to how you have been, Matvey. You have seemed... out of it, lately," Ivan replied. The Canadian stared. Was he really that obvious?

"No, I'm fine Ivan," Matthew lied with a smile. The Russian handed Matthew a sunflower.

"I decided this was an appropriate gift to cheer you up. Are you sure you are fine? I can injure the one behind your pain anytime, да?" Ivan offered.

"I'm sure I'm fine. Thank you for the flower," Matthew said with a small smile.

"You are welcome. I must be on my way. Reconsider my offer anytime," Ivan said as he walked toward a car with a smile and a wave. Matthew sighed as the Russian drove away. Maybe he should add a few more marks to the collection...

_A weight is lifted  
On this evening  
I give the final blow_

_When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight_

_**XxXxXxXxX**_

Matthew jumped when he heard pounding on his door. His wrist was still bleeding, so he quickly slapped a few bandages on it and threw on a sweatshirt for good measure. He ran to open the door and Alfred practically jumped on him.

"Mattie I'm so sorry, I know I promised to take you out today but I promised Kiku I would test run a few games for him and I can't back out now! D'you think we can reschedule?" Alfred said breathlessly.

"It's fine," Matthew said quietly, but inside he was screaming. Why was Alfred so _dense_? Why didn't he see Matthew _needed _him right now?

"Thanks Mattie! I owe you one!" Alfred said happily as he planted a quick kiss on Matthew's lips and raced back out the door. Matthew stood in the doorway, silent tears falling down his face as he watched Alfred drive away.

_Just a little insight won't make this right  
It's too late to fight  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight_

Matthew closed the door and made up his mind. He was now officially done with the world. Alfred was just too thickheaded and so incapable of reading the atmosphere to understand what Matthew was going through.

"I better say goodbye," Matthew said as he found a piece of paper and a pen. He sat down at the desk in his office and began to write.

_To anyone who actually finds me,_

_I'm sorry. I just couldn't handle being ignored and overshadowed anymore. I don't even know why I'm bothering to write this since everyone's too busy for me, but I digress. _

_To Ivan, thank you for being my friend and remembering me most of the time. Oh, and thanks again for the sunflower. Would you mind keeping Kumajiro for me? He likes pancakes._

_To Francis, thank you for everything you've ever done for me. This isn't your fault, or Arthur's, so don't blame yourself. Je t'aime, mon père._

_To Arthur, thank you for being a loving father and listening when no one else had the time. Please don't blame yourself for this. I love you, Dad._

_To Alfred... Oh, Alfred. You can be so oblivious at times, but I still love you to death. Huh, I guess you could consider that a pun. We've had our good times together. I'm sorry I couldn't keep living, but hopefully I cleared up your schedule a bit now. Now you don't ever have to make time for me ever again. Je t'aime tellement, Alfred. J'espère que vous n'oublierez pas de moi plus jamais maintenant. S'il vous plaît me souviens..._

_Goodbye everyone,_

_Matthew Williams (Canada)_

Matthew looked over the note and stood up. He dug around in his closed and his hands curled around a small handgun. It wasn't registered, but why would Matthew care? He set the note down next to him and put the gun to his temple.

"_Adieu, mon amour..._" Matthew whispered as he pulled the trigger.

_Now I'm on my own side  
It's better than being on your side  
It's my fault when you're blind  
It's better that I see it through your eyes_

_**XxXxXxXxX**_

Alfred barged into Matthew's house, not even bothering to knock.

"Mattie! I'm home!" Alfred called cheerfully. There was silence. Alfred glanced around the room. Huh, even Kumajiro was gone...

"Mattie? You home, dude?" Alfred said as he started to search the house.

"Maybe he's sleeping..." Alfred mumbled as he walked toward Matthew's room. The door was closed. Alfred opened it slowly and saw Matthew collapsed on the floor.

"Mattie!" Alfred exclaimed as he entered the room. There was no response, but Alfred saw there never would be one. A gun lay in Matthew's cold hand (when did he have a gun?), a note on the floor beside him, and a massive splatter of blood on the white wall behind him. It would almost look beautiful, if it weren't so horrific. There was a single clean bullet hole in his forehead. Alfred stared for a few seconds before he screamed.

_All these thoughts locked inside  
Now you're the first to know..._

_**XxXxXxXxX**_

_When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight  
Just a little insight won't make this right  
It's too late to fight  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight_

Alfred was sobbing into Arthur's shoulder.

"It.. It was all m-my fault, A-Artie! I f-found him there, and h-he was already d-dead! I'm s-sorry!" Alfred wailed as he sobbed uncontrollably. Arthur rubbed reassuring circles on his son's back, silent tears running down his own face.

"It'll be alright, lad," Arthur managed to say_._ Alfred couldn't stop the tears.

"Why would M-Mattie do that t-to me? And y-you and F-Francis?" Alfred cried. Arthur closed his eyes.

"Did you read the note?" Arthur asked. He felt Alfred nod.

"Y-yeah, I managed to t-translate it. It's all m-my fault! I didn't pay enough attention t-to him! H-he did if f-for _me_!" Alfred sobbed.

"I... I'm sorry, Alfred..." Arthur said. Alfred sniffed.

"W-we need to call F-Francis and I-Ivan, he wrote things for them t-too. He wrote something for y-you," Alfred managed to say. The two nations cried together as they called Francis to tell him the news of his son.

_**XxXxXxXxX**_

"What do you mean, _mon fils s'est tué? C'est impossible!_" Francis shouted.

"I'm s-serious Francis, he's really gone," Arthur said. "Alfred... Alfred's the one who found him..." Arthur heard sniffling from the other end.

"You can cry," Arthur whispered. Francis broke down over the phone.

"I-I'm coming over. Are you at your house?" Francis said.

"Yes. Tell Ivan to come as well, would you?" Arthur said.

_When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight  
Just a little insight won't make this right  
It's too late to fight  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight..._

* * *

**_French Translations:_**

_Je t'aime, mon père. = _Goodbye, my father.

_Je t'aime tellement, Alfred. J'espère que vous n'oublierez pas de moi plus jamais maintenant. S'il vous plaît me souviens... = _I love you so, Alfred. I hope you won't forget me ever again now. Please remember me...

_Adieu, mon amour..._ = Farewell, my love...

What do you mean, _mon fils s'est tué? C'est impossible!_ = What do you mean, my son killed himself? It's impossible!

_**I used Google Translate for most of the French, so don't kill me if they're off (I take Spanish!), blame Google -.-'**_

_**There will be a sequel to this, which will either be up later today or tomorrow if I actually get people to read this one.**_

_**The song used is It Ends Tonight by The All-American Rejects, in case you didn't know.**_

_**Reviews, please? My supply of them is running low...**_

_**~Yukiko-hime**_


End file.
